After my last post, I received a tremendous, warm outpouring of love from friends and strangers alike. So many offered to be part of Coleman’s posse – he and I are both so touched. Thank you for the love. I took up a couple of the offers for playdates for Coleman – a little at a time – and we so look forward to adding even more in the weeks ahead.
This morning, we met with a family who overlapped with us at Children’s Hospital 10 years ago, both our boys in the fight for their lives. Her son is about the same age as Coleman and he’s a survivor too. Tall and handsome, he was gentle and kind with Coleman. Although our visit was brief, it was good for both of us and a nice start to pushing Coleman a little out of his comfort zone. Thank you Kerry and Patrick.
We came back home, had lunch and we were talking about what to do next when there was a knock at the front door. There stood three kids – one of whom I knew. I opened the screen door. “Does Coleman want to play tag or hide-n-seek with us?” Coleman, standing behind me, repeats “Does Coleman want to play tag or hide-n-seek with us? “ I turn to him and say “Coleman! I think these kids are here for you! What do you think? Do you want to play?” “Do you want to play?” he repeats again, still behind me, and in the same breath he finishes with a soft but firm “YES!” He twists his fingers in front of his face in excitement. “You have to listen to Bella, OK? Bella will help you” I try to explain to him. The concept of going outside without me or Billy or Abby or Emma is something he hasn’t done so he’s confused and says “Come with me!” as I lead him outside. But the girls and Billy aren’t home and I really want to give him a chance to be with these kids without me. “You go play and I’ll wait right here” I tell him. “C’mon Coleman!” Bella says, holding out her hand. And within seconds, he’s off running with them. Down the side yard, through the back, and around the house, laughing and repeating them the whole time. I listen through the patio doors and relish the sounds of laughter and voices. Three more kids have arrived and there are seven of them in total now. They are alternating between Tag, Hide n’ Seek, Duck Duck Goose, and jumping on the trampoline. They hold his hand as they run, and this makes me smile. I want to push a button and pause this moment – I am so happy for Coleman, so overwhelmed by this. I’m watching the clock, praying Billy comes in the door so he can see it too. But he has taken Abby on a college tour – gulp – and he returns just as the kids are leaving.
Now I know of course that these kids were put up to this by a parent who reads this blog. And I am really grateful to that parent. Really, really grateful. But I will also bet that it only had to be suggested to these kids. They were not forced into this. It was obvious from their kindness, the way they took his hand, the way they helped him off the trampoline, the way they pretended they couldn’t see him during hide n’ seek. They cared. For a solid hour and a half they stayed and played. It was one of the kindest gestures I have ever witnessed. It meant the world to me and to Coleman. Thank you Bella, Sara, Will, Cee Cee, Sam, and Bobby.
While it’s obvious that this was a first impromptu playtime for Coleman, and although I sure hope it won’t be the last, I am also realistic about the busy schedules of kids these days, as well as Coleman’s own limitations. And although my prior post highlighted the painful lack of friendships in Coleman's life, I need you to know it is also filled with so, so much love. He is blessed with two amazing sisters and two parents who adore him. And countless aunts and uncles and cousins that feel the same. He could not possibly be loved more. But as much as we would love it, not even our extended family can be at our beck and call and just drop what they are doing to play with Coleman.
So we move forward, and we pray that each day he grows and learns more, that his abilities and mind allow him to step deeper into, and become a more active participant in, this beautiful thing we call life. Until that happens, we are quite happy to meet him where he is right now. We love him and play with him in ways that he understands. We work toward growth, but we enjoy the ride along the way.
I know that we, and all who touch Coleman’s life, are better people because of the experiences we all share with Coleman. Even those kids that came here today. They are young, but I think they felt pretty good inside after what they did for Coleman. It was a win/win. And I am reminded of a simple but powerful quote by Robert Ingersoll. “We rise by lifting others.” In the spirit of Easter, may we all find opportunities to lift others.
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