Thank You For Visiting

 

Well, here we are, last day of the month and I’m afraid I fell woefully short this year.  There is, for me, such joy in sharing our stories with all of you.  But I simply did not have the available time to do this blog justice this year.  Know that Coleman had plenty of challenges, but plenty of accomplishments too. 

Alongside the health issues, Coleman had to let another sibling leave for college.  Emma left in mid-August, and in the weeks leading up to her departure, he talked a lot about her leaving and we reminded him how Abby left and then came home, and that the same thing would happen with Emma.  But having them both gone was hard on him (Abby took a gap year but took a job in Vail for the season) and he asked for months when they would be home or when he would see them again until finally we decided to take him to visit Emma in Vermont.  He was super excited to go but as we strolled a beautiful farm there upon arrival, he was quiet and withdrawn.  He barely said anything for the entire weekend that we were there, and on the way home just said flatly “Emma is not coming home today.”  We had prepared him, of course, and I guess maybe he knew it, but I think perhaps leaving her again weighed on him so much that it darkened his mood the entire time we were there.  

Gus, the puppy we got for Coleman, has been little consolation in the girls’ absence.  Grown into a much larger dog now, Gus is a joy for everyone but Coleman.  He cares just enough to want to know exactly where Gus is at all times, but not enough to pet him or talk to him.  If Gus leaves the room, Coleman will ask where he went.  If Gus goes out for a walk, Coleman wants to go.  If he goes upstairs, Coleman wants him to come back down.  When he goes up to bed, he insists Gus come upstairs as well.  But ask Coleman to pet him or talk to him?  That’s a hard no.  In reality, Coleman’s relationship with Gus is an accurate metaphor for his relationship with pretty much most people:  I want to be near you but I don’t really want to talk to you. 

Coleman continues to work hard at mastering daily living skills, with the good help of school and our wonderful in-home services team.  He’s done an amazing job at learning to shower on his own and I can envision now (when I never could before) that he will actually get there and have independence in this area.  He is working on exercise too, and Covid gave him both the time and space to work on a ‘gym’ routine, including treadmill, spin bike, weights, and yoga.  Again, his home team put together an independent schedule with pictures that takes him through each of these activities. The objective is that eventually he will be able to come home from school, pick up the activity schedule and bang through each of the workouts independently.  I know what you’re thinking and I’m there with you:  now would be a good time to ask his team for my own workout activity schedule.  J

Coleman is back at school full time now, in the new program in Scituate that he loved so much last year.  I love the program too, where the teachers and aides focus on a much bigger picture than simply academics.  Coleman goes for walks, spends time helping in a garden, takes classes learning to use a microwave, or how to make breakfast – lots of different things.  To me, though, the thing I love best is that they allow Coleman to get up and walk around the classroom if he wants.  This is important because I think for Coleman, pacing is a coping mechanism.  He does it at home a lot, especially when feeling heightened emotion - excited, nervous or sad - and that his teacher recognizes this means so much to me.  They are a loving team, concerned about Coleman as a whole person, and making the change to attend this program was one of the best decisions we have made.   

Overall, yes we had some rough patches this year, but in many more ways it was good. Coleman is learning to adjust to new demands and new expectations.  He is learning to be flexible in the face of new challenges, and learning to accept that what is new may not be easy but is survivable.  And he’s learning that every single day we are given another chance to try again.  We’re enormously proud of him and the beautiful boy that he is.  

Thank you for visiting, you can never have too many super duper super swell friends. :)

Birds Nest Catching.

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