College

Most of you know that Coleman has two sisters – Abby and Emma.  As a family, we are hitting a milestone with Abby this year as she graduates from high school and prepares to leave for College.  Abby’s departure will be hard for all of us, but especially Coleman.   He adores her (and Emma) and even when they are at simple sleepovers with friends, he asks constantly when they will be back.  “Where is Abby?” he asks only minutes after she has left.  “She’s gone to her friend’s house but she’ll be back tomorrow” I tell him patiently.  “You don’t want her to sleepover?” he says, which means he doesn’t want her to sleepover.  “Well, she is sleeping over but she’ll be back tomorrow” I state.  A few minutes later he asks “When is Abby coming home?”  “Tomorrow” I reply.  This tiny conversation repeats about 800 times until bedtime at which time he knows she isn’t coming home and we have a mini melt down.   It’s the same conversation when Emma is gone.  So you can imagine what it’s going to be like when Abby (and then Emma next year) leaves for College this fall.  It’s going to be torture. 

We plan to use a social story to read to him when her departure draws near.  The social story will talk about how some kids leave and go live away at college and what they’ll do when they are there and that they’ll come home again to visit but then go back to college.  We plan to take him over to Cambridge to walk around the campus before she goes so when we say “College” it will have some meaning to him.  I think he will love the train ride so I’m optimistic that, in his mind, “College” will have a favorable mental association.  Like it does for most adults I know J 

This weekend Abby is at Harvard for Accepted Students Weekend, giving us a chance to very lightly introduce this new concept of college and how it will be associated with Abby being away.  We aren’t talking about anything long term but we are trying to use the terms “Abby is at College” and “Abby is at Harvard” as much as possible this weekend every time he asks where she is.  I’m hoping he’ll remember in September “College” and “Harvard” are not permanent.  Actually, I’m hoping I’ll remember in September that “College” and “Harvard” are not permanent.  Holy hell I’m going to miss her.  I think I’m going to need my own social story.