Rainy Days

Day 16:  Rainy Days

As I awoke to snow in Chicago this morning, and my flight was cancelled last night due to severe wind and rain, I thought weather might be a good topic for today.  Nearly everyone loves a sunny day.  Opinions on other weather patterns, however, are mixed:  some people love the snow, some hate it. Some people love rain, some hate it.  Coleman, he falls into the latter group on both of those – Not a fan of snow or rain.  Especially, it seems lately, rain.  He doesn’t like raindrops on his head, his shoes, his jacket, or pretty much anywhere on his body.  He doesn’t even like the raindrops on the ground.

The girls and I, conversely, love the rain.  When they were young, we would crave a nice spring rain storm.  We would throw on old sweatpants, rain boots and rain jackets and make our way outside, sans umbrellas.  We would search out the biggest puddles we could find and jump like maniacs in them until we were sopping wet.  It was so fun – I had as much fun, if not more, as they did - and we did it more times than I can recall.  One day last summer, we were at the park when it started to rain.  It was one of those muggy, hot days when the cool rain feels wonderful on your skin.  The girls were thrilled, and we headed for the tennis courts to dance around in the rain.  Coleman was with us of course, but he was apprehensive about the idea.  He held up his arm to me.  “Clean it?”  So I wiped the rain drops and tried to get him to loosen up over it.  “Look, I have rain on me too.  It’s fun!  It feels cool!”  He was unconvinced, but followed up to the tennis courts anyway.  We danced around, stomped in the puddles, and threw a tennis ball around.  Coleman seemed to be ok…not enjoying it actually, but not unhappy either.  He was fixated on his arms, and wiping the rain drops off.  That is, until he noticed the wet spots on his shirt.  Which he wanted me to wipe off.  Which I couldn’t because it was absorbed into the cotton of his shirt.  Things went downhill from there and we ended up leaving to go home and change Coleman’s shirt.  As his aversion to rain started to climb, we thought, maybe if we showed him what playing in rain puddles on a very rainy day would be like.  So on the next rain storm, we talked about how fun stomping around in puddles was, how fun was to get wet (because of course he doesn’t wear a rain jacket), how we can jump and sing and splash in the rain… He seemed excited, until he went outside.  He lasted only a couple of minutes, holding his hand up to try to stop the rain.   “All done” he said.  We pleaded with him to give it a chance, held his hands and showed him it was ok to be wet, but he wanted no part of it. “All done!” he yelled.  “All done!!” 

Coleman’s dissatisfaction with the rain has continued to grow, culminating with a stand-off before school last week.  He woke up perfectly happy, but as the girls left for school, he noticed it was raining.  He ran to the front door, looked, and then turned and asked “The rain stopped?”  It was pouring at the time.  “No, buddy, not yet.  It’s still raining” I replied.   “NO! THE RAIN STOPPED!!” he yelled.  Hmm.  This was new.  So I said, “No, see the rain?  It’s still raining.”  “NO THE RAIN STOPPED!”  Was he asking me or telling me?  I had no idea.  “I think it’s going to stop any minute now” I answered.  Hopefully, I added, under my breath.    He seemed appeased and went back to his breakfast and guys, but kept looking out the window.  Every few minutes he would state “The rain stopped!” and then look at me.  It hadn’t actually stopped – in fact it was still pouring - so I just said “Almost!”  I looked at Billy who was smiling, knowing the rain was definitely not going to stop.  “I hope you’re praying for the rain to stop” I told him.   Not long after, I had to leave for work.  I said goodbye to Coleman and he asked again “The rain stopped?”  “Almost” I answered.  It hadn’t.  Not even close.  “The rain stopped” he said again, more to himself than to me, convinced it was over, despite the splashing of rain on the windows.  Ok, I thought, maybe he’s over it.  And off I went to work.

About a half hour later, Billy and he left the house for school.  As soon as they stepped out onto the front porch, he asked “The rain stopped?”   Billy looked around him at the pouring monsoon.  “Not yet” he answered.  “STOP THE RAIN!  YOU DON’T LIKE THE RAIN!!”  Coleman exclaimed.  Billy turned and yelled “RAIN PLEASE STOP!”  Sometimes, oddly enough, this would work.  I mean work to appease Coleman, not actually make the rain stop.  But not this day.   “STOP THE RAIN!” Coleman pleaded.  Billy explained that while he would love to make the rain stop, he was not God and he could not do that.    Coleman refused to leave the porch.  A damn standoff, Billy told me later.  Billy tried an umbrella but still Coleman would not budge.  Until he finally picked Coleman up, kicking and screaming, and buckled him into his car seat.  And then, when they arrived at school, they went through it all again.  It was a frustrating start of the day, and we both hate to drop him off at school when he is upset like that.  I’m pretty sure the teachers aren’t exactly excited about it either.   

We’re not really sure what do about this particular issue yet.  I haven’t heard of other children on the spectrum having issues with weather, but I’m sure they are out there.  And I’m sure there are some clever ways to help them around the issue….we just haven’t figured them out yet.   For now, we’ll just have to drag him through the rain.  He may never love it like some of us do, but I know he will eventually grow to tolerate it.  I’m just glad we don’t live in Seattle.