The End

Day 30:  The End

When this whole adventure started, I honestly had no idea what I was getting myself into.  For the past few years, each April, I have been saying that I wanted to write an article for the newspaper on Autism for World Autism Awareness Day which is April 2.  Except that I always seem to remember this right around oh, say April 1 each year.  Hardly the lead time required for a newspaper.  So it never happened.  This year, same thing.  But on that eve of April 1, I started thinking that I could still meet the April deadline if I used Facebook and before I even knew what I was doing, I grabbed my computer, wrote the first post, and I posted it to Facebook, with the promise that I would write something every day for the month.   I sat there staring at the screen, struck by my own words.  “Every Day”.  I’m lucky I brush my teeth every day, let alone write a paragraph about our crazy life.  I turned to the girls for encouragement.  “Guess what?” I said, and then I told them what I had done.  They looked at each other, and then stared at me blankly, as if I was joking.  “Every day?  Can you even do that?” one of them asked.  I tried to nod confidently, then turned and walked away thinking, “Oh God, can I even do that?!” 

Turns out, yes, I could do that.  There have been over 10,000 views of this blog, and roughly 300 - 400 of you read it every day.  Seriously.  I don’t even know 300 people.  So to all the strangers out there, thank you for reading!  Strangers or not, I feel very much like this little blog has become a family of sorts.  The feedback, either in the form of FB posts, messages or emails, has been nothing short of amazing.  I have met new people, have been exposed to new ideas, and have received so much positive support – I never expected any of that.  If I had any thought – and again it was quite fleeting – it was that if I can help people who know Coleman but don’t really know him – friends in town, people that see him at the girl’s various activities, parents of Abby and Emma’s friends – if I can just help those people to understand him a little bit more, then it will be worth it.  And I think I achieved that.  And now maybe perhaps that wasn’t such a good idea J  But as the days wore into weeks, it turned into something more.  It became something like a public diary, as I revealed both the good and not-so-good.  I began to feel a commitment to this audience.  I began to look forward to the posts.  I think Billy even started looking forward to them, despite his cracks at me on the time I was spending on them.  He told me yesterday “I’m too busy to be the husband of someone who’s too busy to be a blogger.” 

Selfishly, the blog has been quite therapeutic.  I tried to be honest and open, inviting you into our lives to share in our sadness over the unfairness, laugh with us over the absurdities, roar with us at the ignorance, and rejoice with us in the happiness.   For you, I recounted various events and by doing so I was reminded about the things we find important in life, and the things we need to focus on.  You helped me remember that I need to be constantly vigilant in obtaining the best opportunities for Coleman.  Thank you for that.  You have also helped spread word about this blog, faithfully reading, sharing, and commenting.  Thank you for that too. 

I’m amazed at this audience – what started as a small group of Facebook fans has transformed into a substantial following made up of brothers and sisters, parents and children, former teachers and classmates, and plenty of people I don’t know but I sure wish I did.  I even heard that someone was making their high school son and his friends read it every night.  How perfect is that?  I believe we can cultivate a greater understanding and acceptance among kids, young and old. We can and should help them to be comfortable around all people with special needs.  When they ask, don’t shush them.  Talk to them.  Those kids will someday soon be the adults in this world.  I’m thrilled to death that they are reading this.    

I have heard all the requests to keep this blog going…and I am humbled and immensely flattered.   Honestly, I wish I could.  As I’ve said, I get a lot from writing it.  But right now, I need to step back into my life, talk to my husband and kids again.  Or else surely Billy will leave me, or at least start dating again, and I don’t even know where my girls are.  Are they at your house?  I also need to refocus on putting together a plan for Coleman.  We have started down the path of looking at new placements for him, a task that I’m sure will be extraordinarily difficult.  We have enlisted the help of a few new BCBAs to come in work with us on a behavior plan.  And, for added excitement,  we bought Coleman new sneakers this week and we are on the countdown til we put them on (4 more days) and we are planning on cutting his hair on Sunday.  Should be an eventful weekend.  I can’t promise I will post – look where that ended me last time – but if I find the opportunity, I sure will let you all know.  I’m not entirely positive I can stay away.

Finally, there is a saying in the Autism community that if you have met one child with Autism, you have met one child with Autism.  These children are all so different.  I never intended to suggest that how Coleman acts is exactly like all kids on the Spectrum.  Coleman is his own unique little self.  But many of these kids share habits, tendencies, mannerisms, and difficulties.  I’ve heard from many of you – telling me how you have a brother, sister, cousin, neighbor with Autism, and you’ve talked about their similarities, and told me how helpful this blog has been.  I can’t express how wonderful that makes me feel.  Honestly.  And then there have been comments from other moms, saying how nice it has been to realize someone else is going through similar experiences.  In the Instagram talk of my kids I’ll just say “IKR??!!!”  Personally, I’m relieved as Hell that there are other kids making their families run down hallways waving their arms.  J  C. S. Lewis once said “Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: ‘What? You too? I thought I was the only one.”  So on that note, I’ll say goodbye friends.  I have loved this journey, and thank you for listening. 

XOXO